My lesson on patience in the pursuit of purpose
God created me; my mind, particularities, and my capabilities. However it was my Mother’s influence and inspiration that formed me into the person I am today. Growing up I was taught I had gifts and that there was a purpose for my life. Yet despite that great message, I have still struggled for many years with knowing what I am meant to do with my life.
Recently I started a job that quite surprised me, not only because it is work that I didn’t think I could ever be good at, but also because I really enjoy it. It has caused an epiphany that I feel changing the course of my life into one of clarity and certainty. I am working with disabled seniors; sometimes doing simple things that help bring joy to their lives, and sometimes doing complex things that help them navigate some personal struggle. It was my Mother who showed me a perspective that honors and respects the elderly; she exposed me to environments that taught me the needs, fears, and feelings they posses but for which they all too often lack acknowledgment of and/or care for. My mother has worked with the aging and disabled since I can remember, and she is passionate about it. She can brilliantly connect with them in ways that astonish me. To watch her effortlessly navigated and cultivate these relationships is truly heart-warming.
Growing up I would so often have a desire to connect and help them in a similar way, but all too often I felt awkward and unsure. For the longest time I felt so unworthy as a daughter, I wanted so badly to be able to do what my mom did, but I just didn’t seem to have her gift. Sometimes I felt this admiration so strongly that I would brainstorm ways in which I could get through nursing school, despite my many inhibitions (I do not have the stomach for it.) I knew I had the compassion she had, that is so necessary it working with elderly and disabled people, I felt the pain of it constantly. Unfortunately even though I possessed this, along with a desire to make a difference in the same way as my mother, I still always felt that something vital was missing that kept it out of reach. I resolved myself to believe that I was simply inadequate to ever fill my mothers shoes.
What I have since learned and now know, is that the only thing I really lacked was confidence. In my young and not yet mature mind, I confused the correlation of my inexperience and individuality with adequacy. I thought if I lacked the gifts that my mother so profusely possessed, I could never be like her or make an impact the way she has. However, you do not need to be an exact replica of someone, in order to follow in their footsteps. The lessons my mother showed me, and the inner pull I felt to help and connect with people in the way she did was significant; I was just in too much of a hurry to see that my time and opportunity had not yet matured. I did not see that I could honor the things my mother taught me to see, understand, and appreciate, and apply that influence in ways that fit my own personal strengths and skill set.By this epiphany I have learned a lot. Although it is important to examine who we are closely and believe that we all have a specific purpose, even when nothing seems clear; we also have to trust the instincts we inherit from people who impact us, because there is a reason you feel a connection to the mark they leave. Most of all, give yourself time to grow up, mature, and get a little life experience under your belt before expecting your purpose to fall in to place. Some people are born knowing what they want to do, some people’s vision is clear, but some of us need to be patient. We don’t have to fit a mold exactly to follow in someones footsteps. Instead of wishing to be someone you look up to, instead take the lessons and inspirations they raise in you and like ingredient in a recipe, apply them in ways you are good at, making them your own creation. This realization is an eye opening reflection on patience, vision, and in knowing self-worth, specifically as an individual within a heritage. I am so grateful to finally start to see how my own gifts and skills can potentially help others in the way I’ve always hoped for.
So yeah, maybe I am not cut out to be a nurse, but I am cut out to work with people; to understand, comfort, and help them. As it turns out I am also cut out to work with the aging and disabled; since I found myself working with them, I have felt the pieces start to fall into place. I find that I am not only enjoying it and comfortable with it, but I am also very good at it. This is exciting for me as I now start to explore how I can grow within this work. I believe I am blessed to have inherited extremely valuable characteristics from my mom, and because of her influence over my life and the time it took to grow into myself, I have finally discovered a clear vision for my future. It is a purpose specific to me and who I am, but that honors the person who built me up to see and know the elderly and disabled in a beautiful way. It is so comforting to know that although I’m unique, I can fill my mother’s shoes.
I love these stories, and this one is my favorite yet. They make me think of campfire tales; I want to wrap up in a blanket and roast marshmallows.
It’s dusk. I appear to be in a desert, with one or two trees in the horizon. But it’s windy, I have fabric covering my entire face and body, just my eyes are exposed. I can see a dark shadowy figure in the distance, out by the trees, but when I try to focus on the figure it seems to disappear. It’s very windy and it’s getting darker and darker, instinct tells me I shouldn’t be out here when it becomes fully night.
I try to walk towards the trees but I’m struggling to even stay upright in this wind. I think I can hear something in the wind but I can’t make it out. With each step the distant figure seems closer, it’s not moving but still appears to fade in and out of my sight. I’m finally making progress forward, yet the trees seem to be getting farther…
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I love this, such insight!
In a previous post I talked about How to set S.M.A.R.T. Goals for success. This detailed how we could set goals in order to achieve our desired outcome. Well, what if we aren’t sure what it is we want? Or we know what we want, but not exactly. How do we set and achieve goals for things that we only have a vague idea of?
In a world filled with possibility, options, and plenty of things to choose from how do we decide? For people like me, who want to do, try, and be everything, it doesn’t come so easy.
So the first thing we do is ask ourselves ‘what do I value?’ Is it family? Nature? Fame? Love? Fortune? Etc.
During a lesson in one of my college classes, we played a values game. We had a list of values you could choose from such as family, fame, fortune, love…
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In Oregon, you can no longer smoke in bars and restaurants etc. and/or near entrances and exits because in doing so you could harm other humans by your choice to smoke…
The abortion issue is not just about a persons “religious” beliefs, this is a misconception, it is about what people consider life…
I personally consider a baby in a womb a life, therefor I do not believe it should ever be my right to chose to end that life. If someone else does not believe that a baby in a womb is a life, then that is the only real argument against my belief. I am open to hearing those arguments and facts but that doesn’t mean it will change my views. Calling the religious beliefs card is smoke and mirrors, just like calling the liberal card is; I know people who are religious who believe in abortion as a choice, and I know liberals who are against abortion (it may not be many but enough to bust the myth.) People play these cards to strengthen arguments, that is all.
I am not against abortion because of any religion, I am against it because I believe taking a life without direct risk of harm to self or others, is wrong, and I believe that in extreme situations of health risk and rape we can find a way to handle those cases separately. Those solution and options would likely come sooner if we could compartmentalize that cause and start trying to pass laws specifically for those situations, instead of creating the bulk issue of simply abortion, yay or nay?) Wanting to have legal choice just for the sake of it is senseless. That’s like saying I should be able shoot someone if I want to, if they want to punish me they can just shoot me back, but It’s not up to the government to decide; or I should be able to neglect my children if I want to, that’s my choice, it might be a bad one, there might be alternatives, but I should be able to chose right and wrong for myself. I mean, we choose to live in a society/country governed by laws and protected by law enforcement officers, and so did/do many others. These are my beliefs, and I respect that many other people do not believe the same things as me, that is why we vote and fight for what we believe in, and then hope that enough other people feel the same way. I wish people could/would do this with more kindness for one another. Seat belt laws make less sense to me then abortion laws, and yet this is what we are arguing about
That being said, let me make it clear, I do not condone or pass judgment on another person for any mistakes they’ve made, whether they acknowledge them or not. I am merely stating my beliefs for what I think should or should not be allowed to happen in the future. I believe mistakes are forgivable and that someone who has made them IS NOT their mistake itself.
I feel for any woman who finds themselves in a situation were they have debated an abortion and/or had one, they’re life is valuable as well, and they are worthy of forgiveness.
I hope any woman/person who suffers can find peace and happiness.
It was such an honor to be doted on by Endeavor publishing, thank you J! #iloveblogging
I BELIEVE YOU CAN HAVE A PROMINENT NATIONAL LANGUAGE AND STILL EMBRACE AND ENCOURAGE OTHER LANGUAGES. WE ARE A DIVERSE NATION AND WE SHOULD RESPECT OTHER PERSONS AND ENCOURAGE THERE CULTURE, NOT SUPPRESS IT.
LOVE IS A UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE.
If we cannot communicate with words, we should think outside the box instead of getting upset and discouraged by other people’s differences and/or learning curve. I spent 2 months in a country where I could not communicate for a while verbally, but it was a rich and rewarding experience and helped me grow as a person. In my travels no one ever demanded that I speak their language (French or Spanish) but they would encourage me if I did want to learn, and they would also ask me to teach them bits of my language. This was a great way to bond; experiencing one another’s culture intimately, is tremendously unifying, and it was priceless.
Yes it is beneficial and helpful to have a prominent or universal language for communication and commerce, but do we have to have this at the expense of diversity and multi/bilingualism?
I will admit I myself have gotten frustrated with situations that are relative, but I catch myself and remind myself that I am not the center of the universe, other people’s struggles matter too. Obstacles are opportunities to maneuver and overcome, they should not be knocked down and pushed out of the way to save pride. I think maybe people are afraid of loosing some sort of “National” identity, but really diversity is what makes US beautiful and special.
I wish more people would see this and embrace it, instead of acting out of fear, which just causes unnecessary disunity.
But hey, that’s just my opinion. Peace.
This question is being asked a lot, by both men and women, and it completely perplexes me that it even needs to be asked. However, I suppose the fact that it is indeed asked, is part of the very reason right there; not enough people realize that we have not come as far as we think we have in terms of gender equality.
When did good enough become good enough?
Aside from politics and wage issues please just look at your own life; are you really treated as an equal by your male colleagues, your husband, father, friends, brothers, etc. truly equal? If you are (by all of those that apply) then you are very fortunate and I applaud you. However, the majority of women cannot get through that list and count themselves as fortunate. What makes it worse, is that many, possibly even most, of these people believe they do treat the women in their lives as equals. We don’t examine our behavior and/or hold ourselves accountable. People use words like “feminists!” and “crazy women!” like they are dirty words, and it devalues real issues.
Remember there are extremists in every group, religion, and sect. etc. I acknowledge that there are women who take advantage, or who themselves do not want to be treated as equals; and that there are men who are not like this, who truly value women and treat them as an equal.
But please be certain before you take the credit.
One of the biggest arguments I hear is some variation of this “you can’t do equal work, because it’s a fact that by nature women are not as strong as men.” This could apply at home or work. This statement is extremely naive. The people making it are mistaking gender sameness with gender equality. Woman are not fighting so that they can be treated/viewed like men, they are fighting for the same rights and privileges as men. Maybe there are some women who are, but not all of us. Nobody should be hired for a job they physically or mentally cannot do, male OR female, but their sex itself should not be the reason. There are women who happen to be stronger than the average man, and there are men who happen to be weaker than the average woman. So, if a person is not fit for a job, they should not get that job, but if they are and do, then they should be paid the same and given the same opportunities whether male or female…
The second biggest anti-equality comment I hear is some variation of “women are just complaining, they want to be treated “equally” but they still want guys to pay for dates and open doors for them, and only guys aren’t supposed to hit girls… That’s not equality…” This confuses me even more. When did treating someone with dignity, respect, and/or love, to be kind or affectionate, get confused with equality. Would you hold a door open for an elderly man, but then say “since I did that I am that persons superior, and they do not deserve to be treated as my equal..?” I personally have held open doors for men for one reason or another, this is something that should not be “expected” but merely appreciated when anyone does it. When it comes to assault, assault is assault and is treated so in court, not just when a man hits a woman. No one should ever hit anyone I hope women will start to understand this as well. So, If you don’t want to pay for a woman’s meal, or hold a door open for her, or help her when she can’t lift something you can, then simply don’t… It means more anyway when the gesture comes from someone who is being genuine.
These are some of the gender bias’ and assumptions that women are trying to be free of. Men have them too, and I hope they can break away from them as well. I believe people should also stand up against male gender assumptions and bias’, and that we would be a better society for it. The fight for women’s equality is real and valid. Hopefully more people will start to open their minds more and not just see the fight solely as an extremist feminist battleground.
We all have individualized strengths, weakness’, and needs; and what job we do, what sort of family dynamic we do or don’t choose, and/or the relationship roles we take on, should all reflect those individual characteristics.
It’s about WHO you are not what you are.