Relational Growth

Meaningful Relationships in life require the selfless choice of Loyalty and Acceptance over Condition or Judgment, it’s as simple and as complicated as that. Unsuperficial sucess requires failure, hardship, and work. None of us are perfect, there is no exception or excuse. How foolish it is to waste time in anger, hate, or resentment. Life is too short, you can’t pass judgment without consequence, even if just to the soul. Don’t make the mistake of thinking you have arrived, “woke” is a dangerous illusion.

If you want to grow and thrive, accept that there is no destination no arrival.  Mistakes will be made, people will fail, but choose to love and understand. Question what doesn’t make sense to you, but do not allow the ease of disdainfully thinking you know better. You’ll be amazed at what you can learn and how much you can grow, when you choose to give someone the benefit of the doubt and listen beyond your own perspective. Miracles happen with faith not views. Don’t sink into the pit of condemnation, that is a fruitless hell hard to escape.

A Change of Heart

We can believe anything into existence,

even if it only exists within our minds.

This goes for all things, “good” and/or “evil.”

But know this, if I am not acting in an evil manner,

treating someone evil or with evil intent,

or doing something evil or with evil intent,

I will not tolerate any person’s judgment

that I or what I do, am/is evil. Period.

Please do not waste your time.

Especially if you believe there is a God,

whose job that is supposed to be.

Trust me, the ones you think you need to help,

by “reaching out” or “spreading the word,”

are the ones who would never listen

to someone self-righteous enough

to condone or excuse away the behavior of judging.

You may get a like-minded Amen or Hallelujah,

but I don’t believe you will get a change of Heart.

Unity

Too easily we classify people in such a way that we dismiss ourselves from the responsibility of reaching out to those destitute – foolishly excusing away the possibility of Compassion.

Life

In Oregon, you can no longer smoke in bars and restaurants etc. and/or near entrances and exits because in doing so you could harm other humans by your choice to smoke…
The abortion issue is not just about a persons “religious” beliefs, this is a misconception, it is about what people consider life…

I personally consider a baby in a womb a life, therefor I do not believe it should ever be my right to chose to end that life. If someone else does not believe that a baby in a womb is a life, then that is the only real argument against my belief. I am open to hearing those arguments and facts but that doesn’t mean it will change my views. Calling the religious beliefs card is smoke and mirrors, just like calling the liberal card is; I know people who are religious who believe in abortion as a choice, and I know liberals who are against abortion (it may not be many but enough to bust the myth.) People play these cards to strengthen arguments, that is all.

I am not against abortion because of any religion, I am against it because I believe taking a life without direct risk of harm to self or others, is wrong, and I believe that in extreme situations of health risk and rape we can find a way to handle those cases separately. Those solution and options would likely come sooner if we could compartmentalize that cause and start trying to pass laws specifically for those situations, instead of creating the bulk issue of simply abortion, yay or nay?) Wanting to have legal choice just for the sake of it is senseless. That’s like saying I should be able shoot someone if I want to, if they want to punish me they can just shoot me back, but It’s not up to the government to decide; or I should be able to neglect my children if I want to, that’s my choice, it might be a bad one, there might be alternatives, but I should be able to chose right and wrong for myself. I mean, we choose to live in a society/country governed by laws and protected by law enforcement officers, and so did/do many others. These are my beliefs, and I respect that many other people do not believe the same things as me, that is why we vote and fight for what we believe in, and then hope that enough other people feel the same way. I wish people could/would do this with more kindness for one another. Seat belt laws make less sense to me then abortion laws, and yet this is what we are arguing about

That being said, let me make it clear, I do not condone or pass judgment on another person for any mistakes they’ve made, whether they acknowledge them or not. I am merely stating my beliefs for what I think should or should not be allowed to happen in the future. I believe mistakes are forgivable and that someone who has made them IS NOT their mistake itself.

I feel for any woman who finds themselves in a situation were they have debated an abortion and/or had one, they’re life is valuable as well, and they are worthy of forgiveness.

I hope any woman/person who suffers can find peace and happiness.
~AbbieLu

Why Are Women Marching?

This question is being asked a lot, by both men and women, and it completely perplexes me that it even needs to be asked. However, I suppose the fact that it is indeed asked, is part of the very reason right there; not enough people realize that we have not come as far as we think we have in terms of gender equality.

When did good enough become good enough?

Aside from politics and wage issues please just look at your own life; are you really treated as an equal by your male colleagues, your husband, father, friends, brothers, etc. truly equal? If you are (by all of those that apply) then you are very fortunate and I applaud you. However, the majority of women cannot get through that list and count themselves as fortunate. What makes it worse, is that many, possibly even most, of these people believe they do treat the women in their lives as equals. We don’t examine our behavior and/or hold ourselves accountable. People use words like “feminists!” and “crazy women!” like they are dirty words, and it devalues real issues.

 Remember there are extremists in every group, religion, and sect. etc. I acknowledge that there are women who take advantage, or who themselves do not want to be treated as equals; and that there are men who are not like this, who truly value women and treat them as an equal.
But please be certain before you take the credit.

One of the biggest arguments I hear is some variation of this “you can’t do equal work, because it’s a fact that by nature women are not as strong as men.” This could apply at home or work. This statement is extremely naive. The people making it are mistaking gender sameness with gender equality. Woman are not fighting so that they can be treated/viewed like men, they are fighting for the same rights and privileges as men. Maybe there are some women who are, but not all of us. Nobody should be hired for a job they physically or mentally cannot do, male OR female, but their sex itself should not be the reason. There are women who happen to be stronger than the average man, and there are men who happen to be weaker than the average woman. So, if a person is not fit for a job, they should not get that job, but if they are and do, then they should be paid the same and given the same opportunities whether male or female…

The second biggest anti-equality comment I hear is some variation of “women are just complaining, they want to be treated “equally” but they still want guys to pay for dates and open doors for them, and only guys aren’t supposed to hit girls… That’s not equality…” This confuses me even more. When did treating someone with dignity, respect, and/or love, to be kind or affectionate, get confused with equality. Would you hold a door open for an elderly man, but then say “since I did that I am that persons superior, and they do not deserve to be treated as my equal..?” I personally have held open doors for men for one reason or another, this is something that should not be “expected” but merely appreciated when anyone does it. When it comes to assault, assault is assault and is treated so in court, not just when a man hits a woman. No one should ever hit anyone I hope women will start to understand this as well. So, If you don’t want to pay for a woman’s meal, or hold a door open for her, or help her when she can’t lift something you can, then simply don’t… It means more anyway when the gesture comes from someone who is being genuine.

These are some of the gender bias’ and assumptions that women are trying to be free of. Men have them too, and I hope they can break away from them as well. I believe people should also stand up against male gender assumptions and bias’, and that we would be a better society for it. The fight for women’s equality is real and valid. Hopefully more people will start to open their minds more and not just see the fight solely as an extremist feminist battleground.

We all have individualized strengths, weakness’, and needs; and what job we do, what sort of family dynamic we do or don’t choose, and/or the relationship roles we take on, should all reflect those individual characteristics.

It’s about WHO you are not what you are.
~AbbieLu

Give me a break..

For those who choose it, being a parent is a blessing, and most Moms are willing to make sacrifices to be a good one (though it’s normal to try and fail.) However, not getting regular breaks, makes a person less successful, not more successful. So, I would ask the question “Why is it that if a Mom does want/need to work and/or wants/needs to spend time alone reconnecting with herself or her friends, she (more often than not) has to stress and jump through hoops (that usually make it not worth it, if not impossible) but it’s automatically assumed that a father is intitled to these things, and carried out without thought, stress, or hoops..?
~AbbieLu

My Birthday Tribute: Poe

Cafe Book Bean

“Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.”
~Edgar Allan Poe

EDGAR ALLAN POE

Today is my birthday, and I am honored to share it with Edgar Allan Poe, born January 19th 1809. Poe was a brilliant writer, and I love his work. I admire the deep sentiment within his work, which draws you in. His style is not for everyone, it’s sometime long and daunting, but there is beauty laced within the lines that you must keep reading to find.

     Quotes by Poe:

I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.

Hauntingly. Mysterious. Beautiful.What are your thoughts on Poe?

You can’t spell Poet without Poe 😉

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Martin Luther King Jr. Tribute

Cafe Book Bean

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”

In honor of his birthday January 15th and the celebration of MLK day:

The Autobiography of Martin Luther King, Jr.

Via Goodreads: King scholar Clayborne Carson has constructed a remarkable first-person account of Dr. King’s extraordinary life. Beginning with his boyhood, the book portrays King’s education as a minister, his ascendancy as a leader of the Montgomery bus boycott, his pivotal role in the civil rights demonstrations in Washington, D.C.

Rated: 4.6 on amazon.com

This is a great book if you want a deeper level of understanding of Dr. King’s spirit, and his intentions in the Civil Rights Movement.

Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.

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