Relational Growth

Meaningful Relationships in life require the selfless choice of Loyalty and Acceptance over Condition or Judgment, it’s as simple and as complicated as that. Unsuperficial sucess requires failure, hardship, and work. None of us are perfect, there is no exception or excuse. How foolish it is to waste time in anger, hate, or resentment. Life is too short, you can’t pass judgment without consequence, even if just to the soul. Don’t make the mistake of thinking you have arrived, “woke” is a dangerous illusion.

If you want to grow and thrive, accept that there is no destination no arrival.  Mistakes will be made, people will fail, but choose to love and understand. Question what doesn’t make sense to you, but do not allow the ease of disdainfully thinking you know better. You’ll be amazed at what you can learn and how much you can grow, when you choose to give someone the benefit of the doubt and listen beyond your own perspective. Miracles happen with faith not views. Don’t sink into the pit of condemnation, that is a fruitless hell hard to escape.

To Whom We Matter

My life Matters.
My life matters, when I spend time with those it matter to; it’a as simple and as complicated as that. Which is why, “Those who matter don’t mind, and those who mind, don’t matter” is such a powerful and amazing quote. We all matter, that should not be up for debate, even if it sadly is. Please my friends, stop asking why or if you matter! You do. And if you feel as though you don’t, I believe one of two things has happened: you have either, isolated yourself away from those to whom you matter (even if you did not intend to,) or you have chosen to spend time with people who do not value you enough. “Where there is a will there is a way” etc. etc.

I find when I spend time with people that value me deeply (not superficially e.g. “poof, what-do-ya-need”,) those that see me as a recognized, respected, and important part of life, I suddenly feel as though life has meaning and purpose, and I understand or at least begin to understand, why I am here. However, when I waste my time around people who suck my energy, who want things from me but don’t actually value me, I feel depleted, vulnerable, and often useless. When I spend time around people who think so little of me that they hurt me to boast themselves, or use me (or any part of me, including my flaws) as a means to boost their own self-worth and/or jump start their own success; I suddenly or slowly begin to feel as though I am not important or valuable. That may seem silly spelled out and worded that way, but it is not silly, it is real. So often we give OF ourselves so much, and that is beautiful, we care, and that is important. However, we also Need. And that is also beautiful and important, it is human. I personally have been afraid to need, because I think it makes me appear weak, or less-than, or not good enough, etc.  Or because I’m afraid if I have a need I can’t meet within myself, then I will be left feeling empty. I fail to see how essential it is to life, because of my fear.

Need is what facilitates and necessitates relationship. By needing other people and people needing us, it creates a drive to seek out companionship and communion. As important as that is, it is equally important to ensure that the communion is one that is healthy and life giving to all those affected by it. So please ask yourself and assess yourself; look at your relationships (or lack there of.) Are you choosing to spend time around people that you love, admire, care about, and/or respect? If not, do them and yourself a favor, disengage from those that you do not, and re-engage with those who you do, otherwise you could be hurting them as much as they are hurting you… On the flip side, how much of your time do you spend with people that value you (your body, your personality, and your mind/thoughts?) Who care for you, respect you, love you?  This does not mean perfect behavior, behavior is a fickle thing… What it does mean is that the people who make up the majority of your time and life, view you with admiration, love, and/or respect, and have a desire to see you happy and healthy, and are willing to help you achieve it. Love and all those beautiful words that we associate with it, is not perfect, but it should at least be intentional.

Surround yourself with people who lift you up when you are down, encourage you when you need it, push you when you need a boost or a kick in the rear; but more than anything spend time with those that unconditionally see your value, truly, and who never question (or allow you to question) it’s worth. This is usually easier said than done, I know this, but that is why I say it… So that any person out there who is struggling with self-esteem or issues with self worth, might stumble upon it and start on a path toward discovering and cherishing who they are, maybe begin to practice these means of holding on to their value by seeking out people who empower them, and then maybe/hopefully they can grow in their potential for love and hope.
We are ALL Valuable, find and cherish those that know your worth!

Unity

Too easily we classify people in such a way that we dismiss ourselves from the responsibility of reaching out to those destitute – foolishly excusing away the possibility of Compassion.

Life

In Oregon, you can no longer smoke in bars and restaurants etc. and/or near entrances and exits because in doing so you could harm other humans by your choice to smoke…
The abortion issue is not just about a persons “religious” beliefs, this is a misconception, it is about what people consider life…

I personally consider a baby in a womb a life, therefor I do not believe it should ever be my right to chose to end that life. If someone else does not believe that a baby in a womb is a life, then that is the only real argument against my belief. I am open to hearing those arguments and facts but that doesn’t mean it will change my views. Calling the religious beliefs card is smoke and mirrors, just like calling the liberal card is; I know people who are religious who believe in abortion as a choice, and I know liberals who are against abortion (it may not be many but enough to bust the myth.) People play these cards to strengthen arguments, that is all.

I am not against abortion because of any religion, I am against it because I believe taking a life without direct risk of harm to self or others, is wrong, and I believe that in extreme situations of health risk and rape we can find a way to handle those cases separately. Those solution and options would likely come sooner if we could compartmentalize that cause and start trying to pass laws specifically for those situations, instead of creating the bulk issue of simply abortion, yay or nay?) Wanting to have legal choice just for the sake of it is senseless. That’s like saying I should be able shoot someone if I want to, if they want to punish me they can just shoot me back, but It’s not up to the government to decide; or I should be able to neglect my children if I want to, that’s my choice, it might be a bad one, there might be alternatives, but I should be able to chose right and wrong for myself. I mean, we choose to live in a society/country governed by laws and protected by law enforcement officers, and so did/do many others. These are my beliefs, and I respect that many other people do not believe the same things as me, that is why we vote and fight for what we believe in, and then hope that enough other people feel the same way. I wish people could/would do this with more kindness for one another. Seat belt laws make less sense to me then abortion laws, and yet this is what we are arguing about

That being said, let me make it clear, I do not condone or pass judgment on another person for any mistakes they’ve made, whether they acknowledge them or not. I am merely stating my beliefs for what I think should or should not be allowed to happen in the future. I believe mistakes are forgivable and that someone who has made them IS NOT their mistake itself.

I feel for any woman who finds themselves in a situation were they have debated an abortion and/or had one, they’re life is valuable as well, and they are worthy of forgiveness.

I hope any woman/person who suffers can find peace and happiness.
~AbbieLu

Language Pride…

I BELIEVE YOU CAN HAVE A PROMINENT NATIONAL LANGUAGE AND STILL EMBRACE AND ENCOURAGE OTHER LANGUAGES. WE ARE A DIVERSE NATION AND WE SHOULD RESPECT OTHER PERSONS AND ENCOURAGE THERE CULTURE, NOT SUPPRESS IT.

LOVE IS A UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE.

If we cannot communicate with words, we should think outside the box instead of getting upset and discouraged by other people’s differences and/or learning curve. I spent 2 months in a country where I could not communicate for a while verbally, but it was a rich and rewarding experience and helped me grow as a person. In my travels no one ever demanded that I speak their language (French or Spanish) but they would encourage me if I did want to learn, and they would also ask me to teach them bits of my language. This was a great way to bond; experiencing one another’s culture intimately, is tremendously unifying, and it was priceless.

Yes it is beneficial and helpful to have a prominent or universal language for communication and commerce, but do we have to have this at the expense of diversity and multi/bilingualism?

I will admit I myself have gotten frustrated with situations that are relative, but I catch myself and remind myself that I am not the center of the universe, other people’s struggles matter too. Obstacles are opportunities to maneuver and overcome, they should not be knocked down and pushed out of the way to save pride. I think maybe people are afraid of loosing some sort of “National” identity, but really diversity is what makes US beautiful and special.

I wish more people would see this and embrace it, instead of acting out of fear, which just causes unnecessary disunity.
But hey, that’s just my opinion. Peace.
~AbbieLu

Torn

… The Pain we take so faithfully

to see on faces torn, a moment of simple glee.
                ~m~e~

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Bibliophile

There are just not enough hours in the day
to sustain my appetite for books.

Cafe Book Bean

 

5 Simple Ways to Be Happy

Become a more Joy-filled person.

Source: 5 Simple Ways to Be Happy